I was at lunch with a friend. The fire rated drywall was painted to look like crumbling brick. The air smelled of frying fish and salted fries and butter sauce. I poured myself an old fashioned root beer from a shining metal tap and sat across from a woman filled with the glow of her impending wedding.
We discussed the weather and outside fine sheets of drizzle billowed in the breeze. We discussed work and men in blazers and women in high heels lined against the wall, hurrying to place their orders, checking (and checking and checking) their phones. We discussed friends and the tables around us filled to capacity, the din of conversation echoing up to the industrial work in the high ceiling overhead.
We leaned closer together and I dipped spiced potatoes in sweet ketchup, sipped root beer through a skinny straw. A half full kind of day.
And, as sometimes happens, while safe, while sated, while basking in the glow of this often good life, digging my bare toes into this elusive happiness, I came to the shores of sadness. Why here? Why now? The deep, deep blue of melancholy, stretched to the far horizon before me.
I worry that this place is always so close, that those waters, so cold and vast, pull so ceaselessly against this joy.
But maybe this is just what it is to be human. There is no other way. We must make our home on these shores. Build with respect to the tides. Dress for sunny weather and expect that, sometimes (not often), we will be soaked through.
For me, it looks as though this afternoon will be clear. The waters, mercifully, placid and serene.
I am dressed for sunny weather.
This pineapple stitch crop top was made with the Pineapple Lace Summer Halter Neck Top pattern by Melissa Bjerregaard, available as a free ravelry download.