Textured Slouchy Beanie

I feel Spring creeping in, but maybe there’s time for one last winter beanie.

I wanted to run head first into the warmth, the long days, to be like the bright, happy flowers that turn their round faces to the brilliance. But part of me wants to keep the rain. Stay cocooned in the heavy darkness. Place a pause on this relentless cycle we’re all caught up in.

I can’t, of course.

I think, perhaps, my body is bracing against the memory of last year. That Spring, that false beauty, in which my anxiety began to (again) grow its terrible, hungry tendrils. My body shudders against the thought of the relentless heat that followed and burned, quick, quick, through my hard-won stability.

But though this season is a return, it’s also renewed. The days to come fresh and moldable.

So I will be gentle with my hesitant flesh. I will walk cautiously through these fields littered with the seedlings of last year’s barbed memories. I will take comfort in the remaining white that caps the blue mountains. I will open my window to what’s left of the night’s chill. And I will craft one last ode to the dark, still season and then I will turn my bright face to the now rising sun.

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Are you a crocheter? This beanie was made with Justine Walley’s Elise beanie pattern. This talented maker has a wide selection of fantastic hat patterns. I highly recommend her work!

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